Wednesday, June 21, 2006

I am feeling real down

My new dosage of Lyrica is not doing anything, in fact I am just getting worse. The urgency is unbearble. I've tried just about every pain med out there in fact my pain management doctor says after Lyrica there is nothing left to try because I've tried it all. Narcotics make it worse and there is no more surgery left. It feels like I have an infection but of course they don't treat it unless you have a fever or have symptoms. Whatever they consider symptoms to be, I disagree with. My urine smells like the common ecoli infection I used to get with my Neobladder and if left untreated it could spread to my Kidneys. There is nothing left to try and I feel like it's over and this is the way the rest of my life will be. I am sad and overwhelmed with fear. I had to have the surgery because my urethra was non-functioning but I didn't think the urgency would be this aweful. I guess its some sort of nerve damage. There is no way to fix that. Or the fertility drugs I took just reeked havoc on my body and are still doing so. There is no way to fix that either. Par of the reason I went into this surgery was in the hope that it would help the urgency because we all thought it was coming from the damaged urethra. I guess we were all wrong.