Thursday, November 09, 2006


I'm sorry I didn't write sooner, but I was knocked out as you will understand after reading this.I had the spinal anesthetic nerve block at around 3:00 today. It was a really rocky start. I told the nurse that was setting me up that I was resistant to Versed which is the twilight anesthesia. I asked if they could give me some more of it or something different instead. Because of my past history with being awake during major surgery, I really didn’t want to feel the needles and the procedure and I have every right to those feelings. Each person that gets a nerve block gets this conscious sedation and I definitely wanted to have it but they use Versed which does nothing for me, thus I am wide awake for the whole thing. The nurse went to ask the doctor to see if we could work around this. The doctor told the nurse to cancel the whole thing. So then I was really sad because I felt another rejection and begged them to just do the procedure without any conscious sedation. I said I did not care how much it hurt, but that I wanted the chance to see if they could find the right nerves and for the hope that it might work. The nurse went back to the doctor and told him that I wanted the procedure anyway without sedation. Then the Doctor, Himself came out to me and explained that they NEVER use more than 1 vial of Versed which is the sedation. I said ok, just do it then. He said OK but you could tell he didn’t want to touch me. We told the nurse who would be administering the Versed and monitoring my vital signs that I suffered from severe post traumatic stress disorder from Anesthesia Awareness. This was when I was put to sleep with full sedation and an epidural and both failed and I was awake for 9.5 hours of cutting, operating, and sheer torture but could not tell them I was awake because I had my eyes taped shut, a tube in my throat, and they had given me a paralytic, so there was no way to let them know that I was awake and felt and heard it all. Later on I told my Surgeon every thing about what I remembered during the surgery and the conversations that they had in the operating room with each other, he was floored and could not believe it but he did because everything I said was exactly what happened. So this nurse pulled the doctor aside and told him about this. THEN THIS DOCTOR understood why I was so upset about the Sedation and why I wanted it so bad! So the procedure started and they watched my vital signs. I did not respond to one syringe full, so I heard him say, “She also wanted some Zofran too, can someone get some Zofran for her now?” Then I also heard him say another vial of Versed Please. I was so happy that he actually was honoring my wishes that I started calling him “Top Notch Tizo” and “Terrific Tizo” He ate that up real well and told me to keep saying it and that no one had ever called him those names before. I heard him say two more vials of Versed Please! I kept on telling him how Terrific he was. I told him that we were going to get the correct nerves and that this was going to work because he was the MAN! I didn’t feel any of it. At the end, I asked to speak to him after they put me into recovery and I put both of my thumbs up and gave him a huge smile. NO ONE EVER gets 4 vials of Versed for this procedure but I did.
When it was all over he asked me what my pain level was and I said, what pain? I don’t feel anything. The pain is a zero! He was so excited and so was I. BUT this is only a test to see if he got the right nerves it’s not meant to last. The next 48-72 Hours are crucial to let us know if it worked or not. I did not feel any Phantom Urgency. It’s now 8:00 PM 5 hours later and I am doing well. I feel a little tingly down there like when your foot falls asleep but no Phantom Urgency right now. If this works, they will do it again but they will ablate the nerves and that can last 4-6 months. There are also options to cut the nerves if it works really well and this is called Denervation and this is done by a Neurosurgeon. What was done today was called a Bilateral Superior Hypogastric Plexus Block.
Now we just have to wait and see what happens. There is an anesthetic in there that could wear off at any time because we are all different. It may not last the full 72 hours. But waking up with a pain level of zero was extremely important to let us know that he definitely found the right nerves to take away that Phantom Pain in the Urethral area. HE FOUND THE CORRECT NERVES! That means something as to how we proceed, weather it be with this Doctor, or another Doctor.

I am scared but hopeful! I hope that my body will cooperate with this test! I think he was glad at the end of the day that he didn’t give up on me and gave me a chance. Like I’ve been saying to all of these Doctors, “If you don’t give up on me, then I won’t give up on me.”

Thank you for all of your love, support, and prayers, they are all needed at this time as we wait to see what happens. I appreciate each and every one of you more than you know! I don't know what the future will hold but I do know that I have the support of some wonderful people and for that I am so grateful!